Letter to Jo 04

Hi Jo, glad you asked about three aspect of my situation in the last letter:

  • my feeling about not taking up the offers
  • the details of crash down moments and its effect
  • the meaning of ‘come back to breed at an appropriate time’

1.My feelings about not taking up the offers

The offer came from the company which belongs to one of my bossed during last job. The offer located in BEIJING where I have worked for one year and felt really tired about BEIJING. On the one hand, I am pretty satisfied to leave BEIJING, on the other hand I am astonished to find out the job opportunity is not sufficient in SHENZHEN,where I live now with my husband, as in BEIJING. In a word, I am peaceful about the decision not taking the offers in BEIJING, but I also get stuck in SHENZHEN. I think giving up the offers is not the major reason for my depress. I have made my mind to stay in my husband’s city and I accepted the decision with my whole heart.

2.The details of crash down moments and its effect

The crash down moments usually comes with the physical symptoms which bother me a lot. This is what happened during my crash. In the morning, I felt hesitated getting out of the bed because there is nothing important or emergent for me to take care of. Then I would fall asleep again till almost 10:00 AM which means I would sleep over 10 hours on that day. The extending sleep triggers pain and swelling in my eyes. Then I just have to stop what I am doing and struggle with the pain. the next day, my eyes would recover as usual.

The interruption of the eye issue slows down my job preparation. I felt easily irritated when I am not running a smoothly preparation. I felt unqualified as a young woman when I am not financially independent. The attachment of my husband is the vital cause makes me nervous.

3.The meaning of ‘come back to breed at an appropriate time’

‘Breed’ means to start a career. I am not ready for a child, and so is my husband. We are both eager for the achievements at work instead of remaining at home. The ‘diapause’ is a metaphor for the preparation of the next job. ‘Avoiding the flood’ is a metaphor for the adjustment of moving to the city where I live now.

Deep in my mind, being a housewife usually ends up with a fragile and miserable life. I am just trying to escape from being a delicate housewife.

Today Story : Giorgione)

Last night, I was shocked by a painting, La Tempesta), which was created by Italian painter Giorgione.

He was born in 1478 and died in 1510. He thrived during the renaissance in Venice. The structure attracts me deeply as he put two innocent people under the cloudy sky. The interpreting of the portrait indicates that Giorgione wants to express that when a new civilization is created the old one will be buried. As I left my hometown and pursue a new life in a distant city, I do feel the cost of a new life is such a burden and I do admire the old days I have during my childhood. Giorgione must be sad and lost as I am now.

Anyway, it’s a great master of a piece. Maybe you can get something when look at it. Hope you like it.

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